Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
