I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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