It's like God shit irony all over that family
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
