your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
