At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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