I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
