Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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