Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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