That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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