But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
