so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
