I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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