I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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