I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
