I just threw up on my dentist
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
