Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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