Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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