In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
