also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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