And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
