when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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