I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
