SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Send help, water and tortillas.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
