I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
