What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
