What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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