The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
