I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
