when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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