at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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