We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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