Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
