one word: firstdatebathroomanal
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
