so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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