Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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