I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
