Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
