farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
