Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
