dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
