can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
pray to the hookup gods
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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