She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
