You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
