new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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