So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
