he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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