he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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