I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
