you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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