Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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